Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
