I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize