We named our party play list daddy issues
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
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I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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