i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
