2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
He shit in the fireplace
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