tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
