obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
