I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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