why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize