Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
