No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Randomize
