I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
