This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
