so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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