Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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