The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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