I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
A bitchslap is in order.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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