he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
