I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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