i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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