How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
50% drunk capacity currently
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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