my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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