I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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