You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
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