U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
