YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
