There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
