YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
