Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
