Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I AM VODKA MAN
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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