grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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