We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Boobs are out for the taking
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
