remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
