My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'm bleeding and have questions
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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