just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
