my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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