I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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