I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
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