Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.