The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
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my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
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She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me