i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.