I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
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He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
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The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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