I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
it's not cheating when I paid for it
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
