More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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