What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
We have started to decorate penises.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize