Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
