Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
