when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
please come you make the beer taste better
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
