Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
