He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I lost the right to judge tonight
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
