So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
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