garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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