After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
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