So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Floor bacon is actually really good
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
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