I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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