Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
