She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
