I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
wanna go halves on a baby?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
