oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
