pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
It all started with a game of naked twister.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
