there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
