My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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