There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
The uberlube is also flammable
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
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