I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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