I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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