It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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