He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
do herpes really smell.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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