Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
