BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
