How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
