Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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