Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
