i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
