I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
In America we eat man semen.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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