check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize