I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Randomize
