I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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