There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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