There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
